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ive been self harming for about four years and i keep quitting but it never lasts things just keep getting worse it feels like im the only one in my house thats not allowed to feel angry or upset and the second i say something to any of my siblings for doing something they shouldnt be they get on my ass saying im not their parent but then they dont do anything if i did half the shit my siblings did when i was their age i wouldve been spanked and yelled at but they dont even get a time out they get treated so different how come im the only one that gets treated this way i didnt do anything i didnt ask to be born and its all my parents fault all my parents had to do was wear a condom or even get an abortion but now im stuck in this endless hell and i dont know how much more i can take i relapsed today again i didnt even make it a month without cutting i feel so pathetic

Yours Sincerely,a desperate son

Comments (1)

Its okay. Youre not pathetic for resorting to it. When we dont have an outlet we tend to rely on things we shouldnt be doing but it doesnt mean youre pathetic, youre just trying to survive. I used to have an addiction to SH, my blades and such kept getting thrown out and id have panic attacks over them Does that sound silly? I think things started to change when i was forced away from blades and went out more. I gained a new distraction from my pain I learnt that i enjoyed walking to a silent area, my favourite place is the toplevel of a carpark Since the place here is near empty It feels peaceful you know? Everything is silent, bo family to bother you, nobody nitpicking you Just fresh air and maybe the sound of passerbys down below. Dont feel ashamed for not being able to quit fully just yet. Try for a week, if you relapse then thats okay. We can try a week and a day, then a week and 2 days & so on. We mess up sometimes and thats perfectly fine, you're still just a human at the end of the day Your feelings are valid! :)

Yours Sincerely,Roseiyuu