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Its okay. Youre not pathetic for resorting to it. When we dont have an outlet we tend to rely on things we shouldnt be doing but it doesnt mean youre pathetic, youre just trying to survive. I used to have an addiction to SH, my blades and such kept getting thrown out and id have panic attacks over them Does that sound silly? I think things started to change when i was forced away from blades and went out more. I gained a new distraction from my pain I learnt that i enjoyed walking to a silent area, my favourite place is the toplevel of a carpark Since the place here is near empty It feels peaceful you know? Everything is silent, bo family to bother you, nobody nitpicking you Just fresh air and maybe the sound of passerbys down below. Dont feel ashamed for not being able to quit fully just yet. Try for a week, if you relapse then thats okay. We can try a week and a day, then a week and 2 days & so on. We mess up sometimes and thats perfectly fine, you're still just a human at the end of the day Your feelings are valid! :)