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I want to die shes just abandoned be cuz shes "stressed" like what the fuck you dont go on a break with someone cuz urw stressed because of ur sport u do four times a week thats so stupid and im not doubting shes stressed she can be im not gonna say shes lying but what the fuck dude im just so upset so much has happened and she just doesnt wanna talk to me even if shes says she does we havent talked at all in the past teo days when we used to talk 24/7 im not asking for much just an update on her say or anything but no shes given up on me even though i try and try and try to be perfect for her i just dont want us to end like this i dedicated everything to her and shes left me with no actual explanation and ontop of that i dont wanna pressure her to talk to me for a second time because she said shes stressed but shes so selfish i hate my life shes not selfish but she just doesnt get how much this affects me i just want to die i know i wont relapse but seriously man shes reminded me of how it feels now and i just hate life and this is a ramble idc if noone will read this im mad at her of course she can have more time to herself but she cant just basically say im a chore(she didnt say that quote on quite but it sure dod feel like it) and leave me becayshes stressed like what the fuck dude i dont know i have nothing to do all i think about is her im so mad at her

I spent my whole teenage years completly alone and now I'm 18 nearly 19, not in school, no driving license and I think I have a cognitive declain I'm so tired of this shit to suffer from something that was not my choice I'm so retarted mentally comparer to other people. I'm so mad because my studies weren't even that difficult at all so I should had have time for social life but I was anxious socially and had no one since I switched highschool right after my junior year because of my bad health I had too low grades to stay in this school that I have been since middleschool and I barely jept in contact with those people since I almost stopped talking to peolple irl at 15.