I feel so selfish these days. Like wtf is wrong with me? I know I'm good at my job and that other people are good too but why do I feel jealous when people get rewarded too? Omg...now people are spreading rumors that I scold people without any reasons. It's not me scolding them without any reasons! Idk even know what I'm talking or thinking about. Maybe I'm just too jealous that they always get to have a good time and me I'm here stuck alone, Facing every challenges by myself while they have the time to just talk happily and laugh. And some of them didn't even help out anything and yet they get to be rewarded just because they are friends. Like wtf. I just feel like they are so toxic. Talking about people while not reflecting on themselves. Maybe I'm the one who's toxic too

I'm having a lot of anxiety right now. I stopped having lessons with my piano tutor because me and her didn't get on to well. But did we not get on because I didn't practice enough, she's actually really nice why am I like this. I'm so stupid why did I stop, there is nothing I can do to undo it. Please someone help, I'm really stressed out. Now I'll never be good at piano, help.