Hey, if you think OCD is just a disorder that makes “perfectionists”…. You should read what it’s like to actually have it … (from someone with ocd of course) -I’ve separated things about it so it’s easier to look for certain topics! Hope this helps comfort, or education you about OCD!
(First OCD memory: )
The first time I remember “encountering OCD” was when I was little, and came inside after climbing pine trees with the kids in my neighborhood. I washed the sticky sap off my hands… but even after multiple washes, I still thought my hands were sticky. I remember my mom feeling my hands and not understanding why I was so distressed.
(What It stands for: )
Obsession Compulsive Disorder. It basically means someone has reoccurring thoughts or obsessions that they may not even want.
(What OCD can look like: )
OCD is not just wanting things to be perfect. It’s not wanting everything organized. In fact, there’s multiple types of OCD that lead to certain compulsions. For example, it can be “feeling dirty”, wanting to wash hands over and over, wanting to do something multiple times until it feels “just right”, etc. The main point is that the stereotype isn’t the full story.
(When I realized I had OCD: )
I would occasionally have moments in my childhood where OCD popped up. However, at the time I didn’t know what it was, and didn’t realize it was happening. When 2020 came, (AKA covid 19,) my world erupted. My OCD flared. I was always yelling at people, and battling my own thoughts. My mom connected the puzzle and figured out I didn’t want to be behaving this way. I was eventually diagnosed with OCD.
(WORST OCD symptoms that still make me feel sick because they were so outrageous: )
When my OCD flared I developed new habits, and compulsive behaviors. For a while, I would avoid certain things. I wouldn’t walk on any floor in our house outside my bedroom. I would make a trail of towels to stand on instead. I wouldn’t go downstairs either. I did this because I thought the floor was “dirty.” Not only did I start avoiding things, but other behaviors developed. I would take hours in the bathroom. And I’m serious when I say HOURS. Just going number 1 would take me 30 minutes at LEAST. Sometimes I’d be in the bathroom for up to 3 HOURS. It doesn’t stop there. When I had to shower in the worst of my OCD flare, I would wash everything. I would start from my feet to my shoulders in body wash. Then, I’d shampoo my hair, and I may be remembering incorrectly, but I think I did more body wash after that. Then I’d wash away the soap. I wouldn’t allow myself to get out of the shower until I saw NO bubbles. Even a single bubble. I thought I was too soapy to get out even if a single tiny bubble showed up. I would shower for 45 minutes minimum. I showered every. Single. Night. But Yes… there’s more. When I went to bed, I would have no room to stretch my legs out. No, my bed wasn’t too small. No, my room wasn’t too small either. It was my stuffed animals. I would not go to bed unless a certain group of my stuffed animals were lined around the edge of my bed. If I kicked one off, I ‘had’ to get up and get it. I eventually went to a therapist. Even that was a struggle. I refused to sit on the couches there. If I did, I would change after or shower after. I eventually started to take medication for my OCD. Im pretty sure I had like 200mg of something at night and 75mg in the morning. I had to practice new habits. When I took a step too big, it would backfire and I would have a melt down. So my therapist always told me to just take baby steps. I gradually got better. In about a year or two, I was much better. I still struggled, but I was better. Today, I’m much better at handling OCD than before, although recently it’s been challenging again. However, it is not as nearly as bad as it originally was.
(Things that personally hurt to hear as someone with OCD: )
A lot of times in my worst moments, I would be called mental and crazy. That really hurt and it sometimes sticks to me. It hurts because if I could choose to not have OCD, I’d throw it away in an instant. It often bothers me when someone says I need “help” if I’m struggling again. It may just be me, but I find the term in this situation to be rude and hurtful. Not because I’m denying it may be true, but “getting help” makes me feel limited to someone who belongs in an asylum. As someone with OCD, I greatly prefer people to word it as “getting support.”
(How to help someone with OCD: )
It can be hard to comfort someone with OCD, but the big thing is to not be mad at them. Trust me, they don’t want to be this way. They can’t control it. Talking kindly to them and attempting to understand them means a lot. Gently reminding them of new goals, or telling them encouraging words goes a long way.
Thank you for reading! Hope this helps anyone who needs it