I CANT SLEEP IM GOING INSANEE WHYY A friend texted me right when i was finally dozing off💔💔 I can feel that today isnt going to be a very good day
I actually do need to lose weight my birthdays in a month and I'll look shit in the dress i wanna wear
Ill read the notes here later but im currently struggling to sleep Its 3am. LET ME SLEEEPP I HAVE SOMEWHRRE TO BE TODAYY AND I WANA LOOK LIKE I HAV EMY FRESH BABY SMOOTH SKINN anyway idk if you guys remember but pretty much everyone forgot about my birthday so i had to spend it alone One of my friends at the time who mostly ignored me and talked to everyone else but still called me her close friend and such Had completely forgotten my birthday and only texted me abit it when it was already over but refused to text me any further, just ignored me all over again. I was going to ignore it and set my sadness aside but not long after my birthday i saw her immediately celebrating others birthdays. They got a whole story and notes dedicated to them while i didnt even get a single mention from her, i couldnt even get her to hold a convo with me that day. Everyone knew i had lost a friend on my birthday before and i honestly just needed company but for some reason almost nobody was there that day. So i cut that girl off on all socials because it pissed me off Should i have said something? Probably and i wouldve in any other circumstance but you dont get to call yourself a close friend of mine whenever its convienent for you just to ditch me when i need you snd only show up for other people. Now shes in my dms asking if i removed her while sending follow requests again, Its already been well over a week or two now and shes only now noticing im gone Anyway im going to try to go to sleep again
I wonder if anyone would notice if I just disappeared. Would the cleaning lady notice i havent left my dorm in days? Would my clubs realize they are missing a member? Would my friends notice someone from the group was gone? Would I be missed? Would they wonder what happened? My brain wants to say no. No no no no and no. But my heart says yes. Yes yes yes and yes. I matter. I am someone. Who is right? The mind or the heart?