I was friends with my boyfriend for over 5 years before we started dating. Two of those years he had a situationship fwb, before falling for one of his friends. I comforted him as he cried over her, and knew how much he loved her. she got a boyfriend which broke his heart, and a month after getting over her he started to like me. Its been 7 months since then but I always think of her, and it always makes me cry this feeling of frustration. And I hate how I keep overthinking, I hate how I always compare the girl to me, I hate how everything im doing with him hes already done with her. I hate how hes my first for everything, but I will never be his. Its perfect and im floating on clouds untill I remember what they had. They're still friends and have classes together, but I know they dont have anything now. She's a cool girl, everything about us are opposite. When he told her we were dating she was really happy for us, and she genuinely wants to become friends. I feel guilty, that i cant be friends with her- I feel guilty that I feel this way and have these stupid thoughts. Stupid thoughts that he only gave me a chance because she no longer was around, even though he treats me so well and shows his affection everyday. I need a drink.

Being in that weird like teasing phase when you flirt with each other as friends is hell istg. I understand that a lot of people like play flirt with close friends but BROO, it’s not even like I’m uncomfortable with the flirting. It’s like my heart registers them as my actual partner when they aren’t.

Must my man really open that file of my friend? (A girl) who's coincidentally using the same monitor as him inside that computer room. We were seating next to each other. He saw her file so he opened it and told me about it. Was he that curious to see? And he was smiling? I know he notices her. Her stories, her notes, her snaps, her messages from their organizational gc. He's got only few followers on ig including me ands they're mutuals too. So I know. He sees them. He notices. I notice them too, what are the odds that he doesn't? Question is, which should he scare? Why should he care? It might be just a very small thing. But I don't know where it might lead if it goes on. But it is, a small thing for me to get jealous.

Had a short talk during English class with the guy I've been obsessing over and it's so annoying that he talked to me nicely like please be a piece of shit so I can get over your asssssss

one day i'll just disappear and start a new life