We've been together 8 years and not once she ask me "are we OK ?" She never just excepts how i feel.. always twists it and in the end makes me feel bad because her feelings are hurt by feelings. I want to walk away so bad but I hold on in the hope that in the next day things will be back to how they were. I feel torn and so hurt by her attitude towards the relationship
I thought we were friends I thought I was part of the pack I thought I was equal but unfortunately it's otherwise I am happy that all you guys travelled from all over the world just to meet each other. Happy for you and I know one day I will have a group of friends like that who would want to meet me and travel across the world just for me.
Seeing myself back two years ago it feels as if I have taken a step back in my progress. Two years ago I knew who I was and what I wanted, but recently everything has just been foggy and incoherent. I don't know what I want anymore, everything that I used to know is just gone. I don't know what career I want, where I want to live, the kind of person I want to be, I'm just lost. Depression has been taking over my life and chipping me down bit by bit until I have nothing left of me, nothing left of who I was. Ive just been a mindless zombie existing day by day, doing nothing but rotting in bed and bringing other people down because I can't help but get sad and angry.
I miss you, D. You can make it, I know you can. I'll be waiting for you and always wishing you healing even in small ways.