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I haven't ended up where I really wanted to be. I never expected that I wouldn't be able to enroll in my studies. Now I’m just giving up; I’m letting go of the future I had envisioned. There are so many things I want and want to do, yet I kept wondering why I couldn't manage to achieve any of them. I know that as humans we should be grateful for everything, but I can't keep repeating the same routine every day. I want a fresh start. I wanted so badly to study and become a doctor. If only I had never been born; then I wouldn't feel this way every day. I want to get out there. I want to travel. I want to enjoy life. I want to be happy. I just want to feel. I want to be loved. I want to live. I don't want to be stuck here. I don't want to stay here. I don't want to wake up every day feeling ashamed. I wish I had never been born. I didn't ask to be born. Right now, I’m not enrolled at a university because of my parents' financial troubles. I know I should be grateful to still have my parents, but I’m just a teenager—I’m 18. I’ve just finished high school, and they already expect me to work. The moment I turned 18, they started looking at me as if I were completely independent, even though I don't even have money for an ice cream. If anyone reads this and eventually becomes a parent: please treat your child the way *they* want to be treated, not the way *you* want. Look at their future and the career they aspire to. If you know your child wants to be a doctor, save up for it financially. Sorry for my poor English—in short: support your child in everything they do. I want to write more but my eyes is really tired i want to vent more hopefully i can write/post later if im yet still alive. lol🤣