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I know it's bad and I shouldn't follow that but I can't help having these thoughts that my friends would be better without me I know that if I'm thinking that so strongly it's because I'm not okay and I can't be there for my friends and I can't even talk because I'm socially exhausted and going non-verbal half of the time, but it's so hard to not isolate myself and to answer their texts and to try to be a functioning adult, I just feel I'm going to bother them or be a burden and make them go through this with me when they could be protected from it