Post

I am beginner learning both BJJ and Judo with my family. Everyone is so nice, even the most intimidating-looking person there was nice. Though I am an otrovert with potential social anxiety. It is hard for me to do the social part, asking questions and such. I do feel really awkward and uncomfortable for the on top of each other closeness in BJJ , I'm a NO TOUCHY type of guy, I need my bubble of space. But I've managed to mostly separate martial arts closeness with outside closeness instantly, *MOSTLY* (Meaning I allow myself to still keep my distance from others OUTSIDE the dojo when I'm not practicing, because that's my personal preference. But I consent to it inside the dojo... Mostly).. Hopefully it will get easier the better I get to know everyone and with more practice, they are real patient and encouraging. 😅 (Here comes the ranting. ) But my younger sister... She makes me so frustrated sometimes. She didn't think I would even be doing BJJ saying with.. A very frustrating tone "You're going to have to be close to people." LIKE BRO, I know exactly what I'm getting myself into.. Credulus non sum. I never speak up for myself though.. Even though she's like 10. I'm not a person who likes to actually argue, no matter how angry I can feel, I don't have the confidence to actually argue, I'll feel awful about myself afterwards. But it WILL start up an arguement in my mind with them over and over. An I'll ignore them for a few hours or maybe even days. Then she once had said "Get used to it" after she had walked up close, and I had *instinctively* stepped away for space. it's like telling something to just brush the dirt off, but that thing you are telling is made of the dirt you are telling them to brush off. That dirt makes them who they are and you are telling them to just BRUSH it off? Or it could be like, just stop fearing what you fear, Just stop. It's so easy, Just get used to it. Spiders and bugs are adorable, why don't you just get used to it? The ocean is so cool and there's so much to explore, just get used to it. Small spaces are fine, just get used to it. I don't fear needles, so you just get used to it. Get used to it, oh just get used to it. Oh I know I just made this whole rant over what a 10 year old said.. my siblings can be such assholes to each other and I though, even when I try not to say things like this to them.. That's probably why.. 😮‍💨 "Soror Molestē facis" 🙄