Post

I always wonder if because so many people are on their devices. There must be something wrong with this world we are forced to live in. Since everyone would rather live through their phones.. Obviously, because here we are now.. We don't have enough freedom.. I would rather roleplay with ai than live my own life. Because to me, that character I play as, it is the real me, the me I would never be able to be.. in the world I was always meant to be.... Not this one. Never this one.. Now just imagine if Earth didn't feel like home to you.. only the place in my mind feels like home to me... I get all this freedom, and I get to live it the way I choose. I can do so many things, and be anyone I wanted... I'll find a dragon and fly with it my entire life just exploring the entire world and meeting cool characters, I'll be the storyteller of a heroes journey.. and I wish and hope every day, every hour I wish and wish, and believe that one day I will find a portal, or a dragon will come find me and finally bring me home.. If I didn't have this hope that maybe someday I will find this place, then I wouldn't want to live any moment longer knowing I am not getting any closer to that place.... But I'm scared that even death wouldn't bring it.. Why can't I be one of those characters? Why can't I have magic, and dragons?? I don't want to be this puppet that I'm trapped in.. I want to be my own... I am starting to think, that I would only be able to experience these things only through roleplay. And it hurts.. That I'll never be able to reach it. . I'm a helpless Dreamer.. it hurts so much, but I don't want to stop and give up this belief, because it is the very truth of why I'm still alive.. And they say believing is seeing, but why can't I see?? I can feel it, I can believe it to the point it's true... But I can't see, and I can't find it.. Please please..