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Actual shitpost im just writing shit youre not interested in reading plus horrible misspellings It really pisses me off when my mum eats something i made and left on the counter or fridge or something without asking me and when i call her out for it she makes me feel selfish like of course you can eat it if you ask me first dude but if ive made something for MYSELF and you go and eat it without asking and then come to my room being like what u made was so good!!! obviously im gonna be annoyed. Most of the time i don't want her to eat my stuff because im scared it tastes bad but like either way if i was scared of that id still tell her to eat it if she wants. But she literally always redoes the stuff ive told her bothers me its like im talking to a brick wall with her. Also something that really pisses me off is everyones mindset. Like obviously im hypocritical sometimes everyone is dont expect me to follow everything i believe to perfection all the time but jesus man like why do we just do so much stupid stuff. I dont even have anyone to relate to and tell this stuff thats pissing me off to because my ex gf and ex bsf broke up with me and my now new best friend im scared of pissing off and i dont talk to her as much as i did my ex. I just hate my life. I was supposed to hang out eith my bff today but we didnt cuz she was tired and i was too but i really wanted to talk to her about annoying people today. Even she kind of says insensitive stuff sometimes and it kinda makes me feel like the woker. Or when she bodyshames someone to me and im like yeah ... Dont say that ahhaa it makes me feel fat and obviously nothings wrong with being chubby but it is the beauty standard at the end of the day and most people automatically think everyone wants to be skinny. I just want to be me and eat what i want when i want it because at the end of the day im a person not a chunk of meat that needs to look "perfect" in order to get laid. But it does make me worry about how ill find a girlfriend. Thats literally my only dream. To find my soulmate i mean. I dont believe in soulmates i just mean to find a person that loves and cares for me like i do for them and be happy with them and yay. But its hard to do that when youre as awkward and not confident as i am. I mean ive gotten a bit better but i still feel i look weird and awkward when i look at videos of myself like in theatre we got recorded during a scene and i just looked so awkard. And some times i kinda have a mean tone to my voice when i dont mean to and immediately after im like omg whyd that tone come out and i feel really bad but if i went and said omg waitttt i didn't mean to use that tone im sorry little guy they would think im insane. Like three two months ago i kept getting compliments saying how pretty i am from the randomest people ever and it randomly stopped no idea what that was for. I think ive got some sort of disorder or something ive thought that for years like adhd or like something i dont know dude i dont feel normal and i havent in forever. Ive just tried acting a bit more confident but even then i look stupid. I mean im not insecure i stand up for myself but like im a teenage girl what do you really expect. So yeah i reslly hate everyone i hate religious people i wish religions didnt exist its setting us back and holding us back from expanding and becoming better as people. Something thats pissed me off too is how people dont care about the environment at all like today my german teacher told us about how creating a pair of jeans can take up to 10l of water and everyone was being so stupid like everyones so annoying in my class omg they were like jeans dont need water to be produced what are you talking about!! Like omg shut up you dont know anything youre being so loud in talking about and after that the same person was like yeah well knowing thst will just make more people buy more jeans like what hoe does that even make sense what are you talking about thankfully me and my friend gave a side eye to eachother so i atleast knoe shes a bit more sane than the rest of that shithole even though shes Christian and "neutral" on abortion. I just hate everyone . I texted my ex a fuck you today after she hadnt replied to my week old "are we going to throw this all away" message like okay dude i fucking get it its a lot for you to deal with too but atleast fucking respond after being my everything for 3 years like i sent that to her after she unadded me on a lot of platforms and i was going coocooooo. I think im going to wuit theatre im too socially anxious for that i got in it to get out of my comfort zone and be with my bff since she wants to be an actor shes a cutie but yeah i dont think its for me im only good for acting in my room infront of my mirror alone. My best friends hot. I dont know whether to be jealous or what shes so cool shes the coolest person i know probably but ive gotten used to her coolness so it doesnt affect me anymore. But today she was like putting her clothes back on after theatre and i caught s glimpse of her abs and like woah . This isnt weird because i mean its just me saying whats on my mind id never say it to her face thats gay. But no yeah and her hairs so cool shes really cool. Also i really need to find hsir dye that actually dyes my hair cuz ive gotten three to dye some hair strands pink and it just doesnt get pink it gets ginger and its pissing me off atm. Whats also pissing me off is how everyone babies the i think autistic kid in my bffs class like hes constantly being mean to everyone which like okay hes autistic but dont baby him i can dislike him and talk about it with my friends because hes just another perosn too?? Like no im not gonna dickride him because hes autistic after hes called me multiple names tokd me to die go to hell hit me etc. also im really autistic about the amazing digital circud at the moment i really love it ive rewatched it a trillion times this week(im really autistic about it meaning im obsessed with it i apologise for insensitivity) and i hate the guy im working with in the play ill be performing for school hes so annoying thinks only about himself hes so selfish doesnt consider anyone elses needs other rhan his own like i told him to give me the microphone sfter he finishes his lines cuz i had to keep just moving close to him to talk and all he said was chillll dude we shouldn't rush. Like uhm yes we should fucking rush give the the microphone and ill talk when im supposed to. Im supposed to be his kinda like echo so i should be immediately after him im like there to emphasize what hes saying and i cants just fucking wait for the sloth to slowly give the the microphone legend just give it to me why's it so hard i told you to do something instead of saying its fine snd being like nooo we shouldn't rush actually let me decide for myself and it can work out. Also the autostic kid is in the play and he has not learned his lines and constantly makes rude remarks DURING THE PLAY so i dont know how the hell thats gonna go tomorrow but yes. Also they put me in a dress with an spron and the whole thing feels sexist theyve put the boys to be the higher ups and the girls to be the stupid idiots emphasizing the boys words and being in basically maid outfits. (I find the dress but but it seems really off theme the boys are literally wearing normal clothes and eere over here like maids) Ive been writing for like 40 minutes and my hands are getting numb so ill prolly stop bye guys have a good day