i wish i was a cis boy. my parents were okay with the thought of me being with a girl even when i was around 10 (though i didn't even actually like girls) but they go crazy when trans people are mentioned. one of their friends' son is ftm too. his mom says it's hard because it's like she lost his child and my mom almost cried because she imagined that one of her children might be trans too. why would i be a whole different person? why would my identity erase my whole life? i'm still the same child, still have the memories that i had before. that's probably the hardest part. it also hurts too to be in most relationship though. i've been told by few gay guys that they're totally okay with me being trans and love me as i am, just for them to pretend like i'm not. i don't want them to pretend that i'm physically a guy. it's tiring to hear that they're not actually attracted to me and they were confused. i just want to feel normal.
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