Why do I keep fantizing about dying? Whats wrong with me I don't want to live anymore but I know thats a Lie deep down I want too cause im still breathing but I keep adding horrible addictions to my list smoking nicotine, THC, drinking almost everyday I'm 21 and I feel like I'm 50 mentally. Everyone says I need God or should pray but that homie let some wild stuff happen to me when I was growing up so I don't even have the capacity to believe in anything..
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