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are you only contacting me because youre left on delivered from another girl, or because youre actually interested in me? you disappear randomly in the middle of our conversation, yet you always contact me first. how can you just suddenly get up and ignore my messages for two weeks? this is the third time you’ve disappeared and i gave you the benefit of the doubt the first two times, but after you came back with zero excuses, i cant give you any benefit of the doubt. i can see youre online, but you leave me on delivered for hours or days when youre the one who started the conversation? when we first met last year, you gave me all your socials without me having to ask- even the ones you barely use. i thought it was a bit odd at first, but soon i realized just how much more connected it made me feel to you. but after weeks of your disappearance, i got so insecure to the point i scrolled through your entire following list hoping to find another girl. but there was none, not even an influencer or celebrity. oddly enough, on every single social media, im the only woman you follow, but maybe thats insignificant. i kept looking for an excuse as to why you kept disappearing and as to why i constantly felt like a second choice, but there really is no evidence nor reason for me to feel this way. maybe its just a gut feeling. should i trust this feeling? youve been there for me, checked up on me constantly, and even opened up to me during some of the hardest times of my life. but sometimes i wonder if everything is a hoax and if youve told this to others to draw them in. is your empathy a hoax? is it an attempt to make me feel wanted and to distract from the fact you only want me when others leave you on delivered? or are your actions genuine? am i being delusional? i dont know anymore. but i just cant bring myself to leave. you emit this sense of comfort and youre such a gentle man. ive truly never met a man who made me feel so comfortable. youre voice is literally like a warm blanket. behind your eyes lies a kindness and love that you only see once in a lifetime. youre careful with your word choice and always know what to say and when. you know exactly what to do in situations where i feel lost. how can you be all that yet make me feel like a second choice? ugh im in love with someone i shouldnt be.